Surely He Is Not Qualified For That
Stanley Cupper was the kind of boy that constantly questioned adults. Not for the sake of being rude or rebellious, but rather because he genuinely disagreed with some of their decisions and thought that it was his right as a human being to say so. When, for instance, his parents would tell him to turn off his gaming console and go to bed, he would argue that studies showed that most children his age sleep for more hours per night than they really need to, whereas video games help to develop cognitive skills and hand / eye co-ordination. So surely it made sense for him to stay up later playing his favourite online game, right? His parents did not agree. Still, he didn’t give up trying to convince them.
With his teacher, he was worse. One day his teacher was trying to teach her students about the solar system when Stanley put his hand up. When asked what he had to say, he said that everything she was saying might not be true because the earth might be flat. She said that that was nonsense, of course the earth was not flat. Stanley asked her if that was a fact. She confirmed that it was. He then replied that since there are plenty of people who think the world is flat, the world being a sphere can’t be a fact, but rather only an opinion, and opinions shouldn’t be getting taught as facts in a classroom. She asked him to end this line of questioning, but he persisted so she sent him to the headmaster’s office to be spoken to.
“Mr.Cupper,” the headmaster began once Stanley was sat opposite him, “what is it this time?”
“Well sir, Mrs.Haskins was trying to tell me what I can and cannot believe in. I was standing up for my beliefs and she told me to be quiet.”
“Really?” replied the headmaster, now concerned, “she tried to tell you you weren’t allowed to believe in Christianity? You’re parents are Christians, yes?”
“Yes sir. But no, she told me I wasn’t allowed to believe the earth is flat.”
The headmaster had been taking a sip of his morning coffee and nearly spat it out in shock. “What? That’s preposterous! You can’t possibly believe that!”
“Oh, so you’re going to mock my religion too?”
“You’re religion?!” The headmaster shouted.
“It might be. Not for you to say, is it sir? At least that’s what the school board says – that all students are free to practice any religion we choose. Oh, and while I am here, I’ve been meaning to ask you about changing the school’s vending machines.”
“The vending machines? What about them?”
Well, they are not very safe are they? I have a nut allergy and they sell nuts. What if I pressed the wrong order number and got nuts rather than crisps and I opened them without looking and took a bite? I could be killed! You know, I really feel you are not doing the best job of running this school, sir.”
The headmaster was utterly speechless. But after a moment, he got up, walked over to his secretary and told her “Ms.Barnett, from tomorrow I will be taking a one week holiday. I will be leaving Mr.Cupper in charge.”
“Stanley Cupper?” Ms.Barnett gasped. “But… he’s ten, sir. Surely he is not qualified for that.”
“Of course not. But he clearly thinks he can do better than me. So let him try. Whatever ridiculous decisions he makes, I can always reverse upon my return.”
What will be Stanley’s first order of business?
Will his changes actually improve the school, or will his changes only improve his own school experience?
How will the other students and teachers feel about having Stanley in charge for a week?